(I've been inspired in the mornings recently by the leaves simply receiving the sunlight.)

Simply receive,
the way a leaf receives the sun,
every day.

Re-spire. 
Re-ceive.

You are not on your own.
Open your hand.
Literally.
Stretch out your fingers. 
Feel the air.
Feel the fingers.

Receiver.
Receptor.
Fertilized by,
inseminated by
pure Love.

Seeds come
to grow,
'til they must
pop out
to be shared with all.

Fruition.

(Inquiry is simply an open door.)

​Hi Friends,

I did The Work with a mother today suffering from guilt from the belief 
"I am not taking care of my child.”

I could really find myself there.
(I don’t know if there is any situation 
that can cause more guilt for a parent 
than suicide of their child).

The underlying belief is 

"People need me."

I got to see really clearly the self importance in this thought.

The SELF IMPORTANCE OF GUILT.

It’s all my fault.
Me me me
Arrogance…All about me.
I’m so valuable, so necessary 
for another’s well being.
People are not ok without ME,
People are deprived without MY love, and  MY actions...
I’m SO special. Irreplaceable.
I’m so powerful, so important.

People need me.
As a mother we sure would like to think so.  (What do I get from believing that?)
We get to “be needed”!
And the world will tell us it is so!

As partners, employees, volunteers, business owners,
service providers, friends, sisters, daughters, citizens…
we sure would like to think so…

How do I react when I believe that thought?
He needs me
(and I am not there for him…)

I can’t function,
I shut down,
I’m very confused,
and that reinforces and multiplies the guilt I’m feeling.
creating more “proof” it's REALLY TRUE.

Oh the self importance!!!
Taking credit for everything good
and everything bad…

I fail to see the other person's strength
and inner resources.

I fail to see that they are actually ok
in that moment  
no matter what the situation is
aside from what they are believing and thinking…
(“anarchy to the ego” as Katie has expressed it)

I fail to see they are on their own trajectory.
They have a path of their own
and every rock and star is for them.
Literally.
I fail to see I am not the cause of their path 
or at least I fail to see that I have no proof that I am the cause.

I fail to see that no thing should be different--
that it NEEDS to BE exactly as it is.

I fail to see that any “image”
of an “ideal” is a myth.

Without that thought, "He needs me,"
I see I’m a bit player (and not even that!)
not the heroine or the villain.

I watch the grace, 
the flow
of what is
WITHOUT ALTERNATIVE.

What a relief!

How else would people find they are capable and strong
or simply experience the pain from their beliefs.

How can I truly know what anyone else needs--
what anyone else’s path should look like?

Without that thought
I am available if asked for assistance
and in the meantime
let’s play!

Aside from what you are thinking and believing in this moment
are you ok?

Aside from what another person is believing and thinking
are they ok?

So grateful for this question.


And this isn’t about condoning
anything I’ve done
or haven’t done

or getting off “scott free”
or not taking responsibility,
or not making amends
or doing The Work to not feel guilty…

Guilt is a beautiful thing.
It definitely gets my attention
and calls me to look inside
and find an error.
It can show me where I am not consistent in my actions and my values.

But what my feeling guilt doesn’t do
is prove that anyone else was hurt
or damaged irretrievably.

Guilt prohibits me from ever considering
that my action had no effect at all
or that this person is actually BETTER OFF
and right on track
because of my action or inaction.

Guilt damns any hope of a friendly universe.
Guilt puts a veil over it and blinds me to  it.

What this is about 
is simply being willing to look closer--
to take a peek behind the veil.

Guilt is a curtain.
It’s not an immovable wall.
it’s not the actual show.

What do you get for believing others need you?
In a friendly universe how could it be a gift to them
that you are not there for them?

And while you’re looking maybe you’ll find that you 
were there after all
doing the very best you could
given what you were believing.



Love and gratitude,
Joy

Arising to fall,
was it ever at all?

the glass house,
the broken window,
the pavement now a garden
bursting through the asphalt,

the tiniest bud of a new branch
emerging out of 
the huge expanse of trunk

oh little, little one,
the marble rolling across the floor,
you know not where you go...

could it be a dent in the floor
arrests your travel?
or perhaps the tiniest pebble,
or an ant...

isn't it funny
we give ourselves titles,
positions,
and just watch
as the waves roll in
and out,
the rug is removed for cleaning...
and never returns

was it ever so,
was it was ever really so...?

watch

​Summer time, 
and the livin’ is easy…
or is it?

 Wanna play a bit more? Lighten up?
(What would keep me from playing?)

"I should work more." 

How do you react when you believe that thought?
Guilty,
unworthy,
see me as lazy,
images of when I was a “stay-at-home-mom” 
image of my sister-in-law distancing herself from my sister on disability
image of people looking down on people who “live off the government”
image of hearing “work hard” in school
image of my dad working “hard”,
my mom working “hard”
my ex-husband, daughter…

But is it true 
that I should work more (harder)?
Can I really know that that is true for me
(in this moment)?

No.
It feels truer that I should get still.
Come Home.
Breathe.
Simply be.
Relax.

This feels much truer.
I see there is no urgency to “act”.
This feels clearer. 
I am not in anybody else’s business.
I am not in the future or in the past.

This feels kind.
I see I am kind.

What would I be without the thought,
“I should work more?”

Present.
I feel the barely there breeze on my cheek.
I hear the sounds outside.

TA1. I shouldn’t work more
beCause I didn’t sit still and allow inspiration.
I wasn’t silent so I could listen and be told, given
exactly what to say, do, write.
I didn’t invite/hold any open Space for guidance.
I didn’t sit and get clear.

2. I shouldn’t work more--
I should play more.
This definitely feels truer!
I should be more playful.
I immediately feel energized.

I should not be so serious,
not make such a big deal out of it (give it all that meaning!)
I love to play.
It’s given, natural—not work/not effort.
It’s the most natural thing in the world.
No one needs to teach me how to do it.
It’s spontaneous and free.
Play is so in the moment, for no reason, for no outcome.
I should improvise, experiment.
Just put it out there—whatever excites me!
Improvise—One step at a time…

I love this.
This lights me up!
I feel alive and excited.

What a friendly universe!

3. It’s not that I should work more, but that I want to work more.
There is no “have to”. No moral judgment. No command. No standard.
Service is a blessing to me.
I want to work more
because it is rewarding.
I love working with people.
I love doing The Work.
I love identifying thoughts.
i love holding the Space for people and holding them in the situation.
I love this willingness and witnessing the courage, humility and absolute sameness we all are.


"I should work more." Are you sure?
Next time this thought shows up maybe you can actually play 
with the dishes, the writing, the inquiry, the drive, the cleaning, the creation…
whatever it is
and see what happens…

How can I take the work out of work?
How can I take the work out of The Work?

Remember it’s all a play…
we look back at the stage,
the scenery
the spotlights, the main character,
what were the lines…?

the costumes?
what was our script?
what did the critic think of that scene?
what would that scene look like without a critic?

And when it comes to the turnarounds
we try things on…
and see if they fit

there is no forcing,
no cramming our foot into the glass slipper…

we give ourselves plenty of time…
there are no deadlines!
no pressure
no grades
no comparison with others
no boss watching over me

just me and all the children
and I’ve got all the time in the world
to play with them—one at a time.

Isn’t that really what children do naturally?
Oh yeah, and they also love jokes?!
Children can say really funny things.

Working with a client the other day, 
she couldn’t stop laughing 
when I asked her who she would be in that situation
without that thought…when  she saw how ridiculous she had been (with the thought).

One of my living turnarounds here is going to be offering some more opportunities to 
combine drawing with the Work this summer. I’ll be sending information out, but feel free to let me know if you’re interested...
I’m also doing more singing and drawing... and will just see what else arises out of this Playful Space…the space of not knowing
and not needing to know…nothing to know...

“He who binds to himself a joy
Doth the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in Eternity’s sun rise.”
William Blake

"No one has to (follow the simple direction,)
and this is a game of finding out what happens
if you do…” Katie

Would love to hear any of your thoughts, insights, fears, turnarounds, examples, or experience in playing with this.

EnJoy.

Love, Joy